Jon Symons Diary – 11th June 2012

Dear Diary,

This week is going to be more of a confession than a diary, this is because on Saturday I did something that is wholly wrong and morally incorrect, I N/R’d in the medal.

I have decided that I am going to share with you the Pros and Cons of signing your card and writing N/R at the bottom;

Pros

  1.  It saves you having to post a horrendous score and being the laughing stock of the entire club house
  2.  If, like me, you N/R at the ninth it allows you to enjoy the back nine not worrying about score
  3.  It only costs you 0.1 onto your handicap
  4.  Once you have conceded to the fact you are about to N/R it feels like a huge weight has been taken off your shoulders, what a relief!

Cons

  1. You are still the laughing stock of the clubhouse because you are a wimp and have absolutely no moral fibre
  2. It does nothing to improve your game, if you don’t have the ability to battle back from a few bad holes there is no point in playing in the first place
  3. It may only add 0.1 onto your handicap but it sticks out like a sore thumb on ‘How Did I Do’ as a constant reminder of your failure
  4. The relief that you feel when you pick up your ball and decide enough is enough is only temporary, knowing that I do not have another medal until Saturday means I am in a week long prison of guilt and regret.

In all honesty, I know a N/R is worse than GBH or armed robbery and should really come with some sort of jail time, but on Saturday I really really needed to pick my ball up and call it a day. I have never experienced such anguish on the golf course, I could have cried about 6 times and that was just the first hole (I took a seven) absolutely nothing was working for me and standing on the 9th tee 13 over par was like standing on the edge of a cliff…… and I jumped!

I am going to go to the driving range every night this week, not only to iron out the obvious problems with my swing but also as punishment to myself for doing the unthinkable.

In other news I am back down to 14 after the mid week medal last Wednesday, but after Saturday I think that might be a temporary situation and we finally managed to get our first round doubles match played on Friday night, after being 3 up at the turn and flying winning on the 18th for victory was not exactly ideal! Still, we are through and that is all that matters.

Until next week, I am bridgie and have taken the executive decision to change my target handicap.

Official Handicap: 14.3

Season Target: 12.4

Bridgieness Level: 9/10

J Symons

14 Handicapper.

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